Hi Broken Angel,

I feel your pain about school and achieving good grades while fighting with your mind. It sucks and its frustrating beyond words to struggle internally when facing a goal like education. Its always good to vent and it always makes me feel a little less alone when I read that others have to go through the same battles as I do so thank you.

I'm not a professional by any means but I do have some ideas to throw you way. First, bipolar is a extremely tricky disorder and I read the part that you take pride in not taking medication. That's OK, but I want to reassure you that there is nothing wrong with working with a professional to find a medication that may help you control your symptoms. Its not cheating or a betrayal of your true self. Look at it as a way for you to fully be yourself.
Second, bipolar and ADHD has a high morbidity, meaning its common to have Bipolar and ADHD. This could be another reason for your struggles with school and there are tons of great treatment options; meds or no. I went from high school dropout to being a decent student after getting held with my ADHD. Just something to consider.
Lastly, you gotta get that insomnia under control! I've found it next to impossible to study or do HW fatigued. Your mind just doesn't work when exhausted. There are bunches of options and strategies that help insomnia, but it can get frustrating doing the trial and error thing until finding one that works. The insomnia might be a symptom of manic episodes too so there is another reason to consider a medication option. Just don't give up hope!
All of these things can be talked about with your MD and please don't think its weak to do so.
Oh yeah, schools usually offer help for students with disorders by accommodating assignments and tests to specific needs. You might wanna check that out too.
Sorry for the long response. I wish you the best and you are not alone!!!!!!!

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