Most of my adult life I have been involved in care giving for someone I loved. My first wife had a neurological condition that didn't appear until some years after we were married. She eventually died from it. My present wife is bi-polar and has several medical conditions, all of which have left her so incapacitated that I'm unable to care for her. She lives in a nursing home. Even if I were able to give her all the care the nursing home staff do, which btw, has been excellent, I'm too emotionally exhausted to do so. I don't have anything left to give to the relationship and, I'm mentally unwell myself. I also had myself maneuvered into quitting a good paying job I had for years. Admittedly, I wasn't doing the job as well as I had been before my wife became so sick and I was a difficult employee for the Administration to deal with but the circumstances of my departure were badly handled and they still do bother me. On top of everything else, I've always been depressed and have suffered from it for years. These days, however, what with all that has been going on, the depression is worse than ever. I have regular counseling and participate in a support group for the friends and families of the mentally ill. I have been on various medications but currently I'm just using things like rhodiala, holy basil and the like. I guess they help but I'm not certain even massive doses of prozac would lift the mood I've had for the past couple of years. In addition to depression and all the symptoms that come with it I'm anxious about everything and feel as if any of the good relationships I have with people who are important to me are in imminent danger of collapsing due to my unhappy history and messy emotional state.