(((flipchart))),

I had an uncontrolable rage myself, and it surprised everyone, including myself. I have been battling PTSD that stems back to my childhood, but when I had that rage I had a lot of storred anger that I was surpressing and I had been dealing with a trama and I didn't really understand PTSD.

Rage is strange, it just fills the body and takes over. I didn't understand why I did that and "lost control" tbh. After a few months of therapy I realized that not only was it part of PTSD, but what was happening is the people around me were invading my boundaries and it had finally pushed me over the edge.

It is important that you address this as I agree with the others who are saying that somethings might be surfacing and you need to learn what they mean to you.

As far as dealing with other people that "react poorly" towards you, I have to say that what that mostly boils down to is "they don't know any better". We all think our parents "should be" this or that, but if we really take the time to look at "who they are", we can see their ignorance. Not only that but we can often see that they didn't give/provide because they honestly didn't know "how to".

Your mother's reaction of "self blaming" is typical of someone who most likely was also a victim and only knew "victim mentality" herself.

When you take time to work on yourself, you will get to a point where you will see these people in a "different light" and it is going to be "sad". I have gotten there myself and while I see how my parent's ignorance hurt me growing up, I can also see where they got that ignorance and how they just really didn't know any better.

Open Eyes