Yes, I know the heartbreak of losing a pet, I was devastated at the loss of all of our dogs, I too had said I'm not getting a dog, I can't live through another heartbreak, but someone said, "but look how much joy you can have in your life again"!
So, yes I couldn't take not hearing the jingle of the tags of her collar, the ticking of the nails as she walked (ticking usually means time for their nails to be cut) so many things I missed and made the days more difficult, my is now 7 y.o. and I am already dreading that final day, but I must accept it though it is cruel that such wonderful, loyal friends can't live as long as humans Go with the Nortriptyline but don't let higher cost be the factor in your mental well being, that is priceless and sometimes there are ways of giving up some things in order to help you afford pdocs and treatment, after all that should be the main priority, it's your life we are talking about, not a new pair of shoes or something like that, right?
Please take care, I am wishing you lots of love and luck with all of this. I deal with mild bipolar illness (Bipolar II mild) so I can relate with many of the medications, it took a try with different ones til we found what is right for me, so don't give up hope, you'll get there
"darkeyes"