I don't think I would try **** first. That would be SO embarrassing. I have yet to try **** and have no intention to though.

I understand there was soreness w/ fingering, do you have soreness w/ toys as well? If not it sounds like a controll issue to me. You are not in control of fingering, someone else is. Was is simple insertion or more than that. Sometimes it can indeed be to much or the angle is wrong. There is more to it then "insert" and "enjoy".

It is good that your man is willing to be slow. That is so important. Just because you think about it doesn't mean you are ready for sexual experiences. But I think you know that. Good luck