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Old Sep 19, 2006, 03:32 PM
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desirae desirae is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2005
Location: who cares where I\'m at
Posts: 1,258
This may not belong here, I wasn't exactly sure where it should go because it's about life stuff and not depression.....if mods move it to an more appropriate place that's cool.

Well, the last week has been awful, normally that sort of awful blows over and things become well again, but for some reason it stuck it's ugly head around for a bit longer and made the situation here much worse.

My husband and I are finally and officially splitting up tomorrow. He's getting his paycheck, and I'm getting my loan, so now we are both set to separate on our own ways. I thought I would find relief in this, but instead I am in a wreck of fear.....maybe my dependency is stronger then my love for him

My kids and I have been in a horrible fit of sickness...some sort of flu. I had a severe migraine that lasted for 24 hours because of a Valium my Mom gave me to help me sleep through the intense body aches. Instead I was up all night with an excruciating headache that lasted through out the next day as well. I was in so much pain that I awoke is tears, and my husband pushed me around by the collar of my shirt demanding that I get over it and take care of the kids while he sleep (he worked night shift that week). I begged him to sympathize for my pain, instead he became crueler and pushed me around. I was then left alone down stairs with the babies, I regret to say that I made a large bed on the floor with a million pillows and blankets and we lazed about snoozing all day watching T.V till the pain passed.

Hunger of course is there, and will always be there. We are not eligible for any more food assistance because of all of my husbands raises and over time.

This morning I was studying David Gorily for my exam tonight, and my chair was pulled from under me in anger by my husband...I don't even understand what I did

I feel like I'm crashing, a huge failure. My poor babies are stuck in the middle of this, and will lose their father. He says he will no longer support me and I'm on my own with diapers and such.

I don't even have a job, I'm really scared of what can happen to me.

I still haven't cried......I've never had a nervous breakdown before, sure I've been upset and hysterical, but not to the point of a complete mental breakdown.....I fear it is going to happen because I'm not able to relieve my emotions, even if I try. I can't be mad, I can't be sad......just terrified.

I need some helpful words, encouragement, hugs, and I know it sounds like pathetically seeking attention but I need sympathy too. I'm sorry for burdening my problems on this page, but I have no place else to go.
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