I swear to God.... I'm a total failure. I have managed to drive off everyone around me. Up until a couple of days ago I was on fairly good terms with my in-laws..... Now I have run my mouth/fingers off and have made it so there is no way they will have anything to do with me. Not that they are great people, but they are better than no family....

I can't keep a job.... Hell, for the last three months, I cant FIND a job.... I'm a RN and am reduced to applying to be a long haul truck driver!

I was a failure as a Marine....
I was a failure as a Nurse....
I was a failure as a Son....
I was a failure as a Husband....
I'm pretty sure I'm failing as a father.....

Jesus Christ.... If it wasn't for my children, I swear I would eat a bullet just to stop the pain. They are the only reason I have left to live in this world.

I could never do it, just because of the trauma it would put them through...

So what do I do? I "soldier on".... I keep trying to hold my life and my sanity together.....

I hate my life.....