First and foremost, thank you for your service to this great country.

Secondly, you need to read your own words. Your descending list, try taking out the words "was a failure as" and replacing them with "am". It would then look like this:

I am a Marine....
I am a Nurse....
I am a Son....
I am a Husband....
I'm a father.....

Looks a little better doesn't it? Doesn't have a bit of failure in it. In fact it looks like a perty darn sucessful life to me. Positive thinking goes a long way my friend.

I tried to get into Marine Officer School but was denied at the recruiter's office because I was taking meds for bp at the time, so I've never known military service, but I know others who have and I have seen how it can change a man.

My best advice is to keep a positive attitude and seek the help you need. Believe it or not, its ok for a Marine to ask for help when he needs it. You've made an excellent first step in coming here to PC and posting this thread. But there are still many battles ahead to win this war.

For 20 years I waged a war on the terrible things going on in my mind by myself. The lone soldier in the fight. Until one day in 2009 when I had finally had enough, and I knew I wasn't getting out of it alive. So I manned up and called in the cavalry, which came in the form of special ops unit of doctors in the mental health unit of the hospital and a bombardment of medication. When the smoke cleared, I was back to reality and able to go back home to my family.

So yes "soldier on" or as I like to say "Keep on keepin on," but know you don't have to do it alone. Best wishes my friend. Feel free to message me if you wanna talk about anything