So I guess it can go without saying: the trip to Rio de Janeiro was absolutely amazing - mania, sleeplessness and all - who cared? I was surrounded by beaches, mountains, a new culture, a new country, sights, sounds, foods, shrimps the size of small lobsters... It was incredible. I was so lucky and blessed to be with best friends and my amazing boyfriend who was so supportive of all my quirks (yes please, try to avoid the crowds and get to the airport 3 hours early...)

And now I'm back. I knew this was all waiting for me when I got here - the impending doctor visits, changes of meds, insomnia (that didn't change in Brazil at all, it was just more entertaining there...) the looming hospital stay, all the negativity of others of "why did you go if you knew you'd just have to go to the hospital anyway?"

Does anyone here understand why I would choose to get away before facing these unpleasantries? It makes sense to me at least - gives me some positive and beautiful memories to hang on to where things were close to normal... I dipped my toes in waters in a whole other continent! This memory will help me (I think) when I'm alone in the hospital as they try to figure out why I haven't slept more than 2.5 hours, at best, in almost 3 months with every sleep med known to my pdoc.

The latest one, Saphris, is netting me 2 hours of sleep - anyone have any success with this one? Aside from it tasting horrible....I don't see a benefit...

Anyway. Sorry for the long post - thanks for reading. Am I wrong for being happy for "checking out" for a little while? Some people are trying their best to make me feel guilty, like I should be ashamed of myself.... Any input you have, positive or otherwise - I'd really like to hear from you