Hi everyone,

I'm new here so here is some background:
I'm a 17 female and a high school senior. I've struggled with depression and anxiety and have been on a dozen meds since over the past 6 years. I go through spells of deep depression and now is probably the worst I've been.

So my concern is about contacting my t in-between sessions. I've been obsessively googling this and have seen other posts about it, but I still don't feel like I've found what I'm looking for.

My t is great. I love her. I've seen her on and off for two years and started seeing her again one month ago. We have sessions once a week. She gave me her phone number (personal cell phone number) and email address and told me to text, call, or email whenever I needed. Last week I called her in a crisis situation. Lets just say I was a danger to myself. I immediately felt guilty for calling her especially because it was 9 at night. She didn't answer, which I had mixed feelings about, but then I emailed her the next day and she called me as soon as she saw it. I've emailed her about once a week when I'm especially unstable, need to vent about a bad day, or need to tell her about urges/something I've done, and she either calls me or emails me back saying we'll talk about it next session. I HATE bugging her and it makes me feel so guilty and I never feel like my problems are big enough to call or email about. I feel like she thinks I'm annoying and needy. I don't know when things are bad enough to where she would've liked me to call. She said whenever, and I know she means it but she's the only one I have to talk to so I feel like I ask too much of her.

Today, after emailing her last night and no call or reply, I deleted her number from my phone, deleted all of our emails and threw out my copy of her contact info she gave me (quite ceremoniously actually, I ripped it up and flushed it down the toilet, then laid on the floor and cried.) I feel so bad for being so needy but now I don't know what to do in a crisis. I'm stressed out and anxious about the whole thing. I think about it ALL THE TIME.

Do you and your t have contact between sessions?

Under what circumstances would you contact your t?

What kind of boundaries should I set with my t?

Thank all of you for being part of this community, I already feel like I belong.

Nomad