Sorry to butt in here--I don't have an ED; I'm overweight because I have trouble taking care of myself because of my autism, and because they over-medicated me for a while. But I have had a bit of the same trouble with my doctors, with me not wanting them to weigh me and them insisting on it.

It is not a matter of law or insurance; it's probably just that the doctor feels like he is not doing his job if he doesn't know how much you weigh. He does need to know to prescribe medication doses, and he's probably using your weight as a benchmark for recovery.

It's ironic that people who are overweight have the exact same issue: The doctor wants to weigh you, wants to use it as an indicator of how you're doing. They stereotype you by your weight. You could be stabilizing nicely, emotionally, but if you've lost a pound they think you can't possibly be recovering. Or, in my case, I could be doing rather well in taking care of myself--my apartment is clean, my grades are going up--but when my doctor sees I've gained weight, he thinks I must not care about my health.

Lately I've managed to get a decent doctor who really does understand that weight is not the be-all and end-all of health. In the case of someone who is underweight, the problem is to get enough nutrition to keep your body running, to keep your health up; if you gain weight but don't get the nutrients you need, things aren't going to go as well as they should. An overweight person who is eating real food, getting physical activity, is often doing rather well even compared to normal-weight couch potatoes. My doctor now is keeping track of things like blood pressure, metabolism, blood sugar, kidney function, and similar, and says that I am in good health for anyone of any size. She's the first to ever do that. Everyone else just weighed me and assumed I was unhealthy. Yeah, I'll slowly go back to a more average weight as time goes on, because I am taking care of myself better now than I used to (thank goodness for aides)... but focusing on health rather than weight really helps to keep the guilt out of it.

I don't know if this is possible for someone who is recovering from an eating disorder, but if you could find a way to get your doctor to focus on your health rather than your weight, things might go easier for you. Find some other biomarkers that say "My body is running efficiently"--I don't know, maybe your heart rate and blood pressure, your blood sugar, how well your circulation is flowing, whether you have nutritional deficiencies? Things like that. Weight is connected very deeply to your emotions--try to get your doctor to focus on your health instead of your weight. Maybe after a while, you'll feel more secure about being weighed, especially if you see that you are getting stronger.

Once again, this is from my perspective, so I could be completely off base, and maybe weighing is an integral part of ED recovery. Surely you'll eventually need to learn not to fear the number on the scale. But if you can try to focus on health instead of weight, maybe you can trick yourself out of those reflexive negative associations with eating and weight gain. Maybe you can tell yourself, "See, I'm getting stronger; my body is working better now than it used to."

Anyway, good luck, hope you figure this out.