Little pieces of the past seem to call out to me. Wanting to be heard. The T promises she will never take me or anyone else for that matter somewhere they do not want to go emotionally. Some people need to go "there", others need to never speak of that part of there history ever again. She has said there is no wrong way to go about this. Your body and mind will tell you what to do and each person is different. I have had this overwhelming need to let part of the story out. There is so much more. I can see it, smell it, feel it, block out some parts and piece them together w/ other parts to get a better picture. One day I hope to be able to tell the story that goes along w/ the movie that plays in my head. It has no words right now. Does that make since? It is like a movie that plays over and over. Every now and again I don't press play someone else does. I can't get it to stop. Other times I push play and it is for me to relive and think how did I let this happen. I can turn it off. I need to take the whole movie and put it from on the mental tape onto paper and give it to my T, or give it away. That way it is no longer just mine.

Like any great old movie once it is there for the world to see it gets almost forgotten. I think of the movie Gone With the Wind. It is a classic. It is a movie I will never forget but I don't watch it every day or every week or even once a month. I have not seen it in 20 years and not thought about it but 2 or 3 times in the past 20 years. I am hoping my own personal mental movie will be the same way. It took place a long time ago, others can see it. If they can forget about it so can I. Eventhough it may reoccur every once in a great while.