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Old Dec 31, 2012, 04:43 PM
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belledisastre belledisastre is offline
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Member Since: May 2012
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54
I'm 16, and have been suffering from anxiety and OCD since my dad passed away, about 5 years ago. My OCD has been persistent, popping up again and again in different forms (checking locks 10 times before going to bed, religious OCD, etc). My habit of picking the skin off my lips began at around the same time as my OCD. Sometimes I cause my lips to bleed, but never due to an internal desire to do so (I hate blood). I receive comments on my chapped lips, and people in my family have scoffed at me for my habit and said that I "looked ridiculous". My lip picking is at its worst when I'm stressed or anxious/nervous. It has been persistent throughout the past 5 years. Also, (this is difficult to explain and I looked it up and I couldn't find anyone that does the same thing as this) I have a habit of clacking my fingernail against my teeth. I do it pretty much all the time that I'm not picking at my lips. I do it pretty hard and when I'm with family, people that are across the room can hear it and always tell me to stop. I also rub my fingernail against my mouth and teeth all the time.

Also, I'm not sure if this is a symptom of my OCD itself (most likely just my GAD) 90% of the time I'm shaking my legs pretty hard or swaying them. I've had therapists ask me why I was so nervous & my mom ask me if I had to pee; I shake them pretty hard, not necessarily JUST when I'm nervous. I do it pretty much all the time, but I guess it gets a little worse when I am nervous.

Also, I'm a very good and loving and person, but I have these disturbing thoughts that I can't control. Whenever I pass a cemetery, I imagine myself kicking over one of the tombstones (keep in mind that I've been through a lot of losses in my life, and I'd NEVER EVER do that to someone). Often times when I go down a set of stairs, I imagine myself slipping down the stairs and breaking my neck.

I was just wondering if these things could go hand in hand with my OCD or GAD, or something. I never mentioned them to my psychiatrist because they're little things that don't completely run my life like my religious OCD did, & my habit of checking and rechecking and touching doorknobs 10+ times a night did, & my other OCD habits. They happen, and a lot of times I don't consciously notice them happening, and if I do (the violent thoughts), the thoughts are over when they're over and that's that.