I have been is the same position. I know exactly what you are dealing with. I know it hurts when people say leave. It is never that easy or we don't have enough faith in ourselves due to the ones we are married too to leave. It doesn't sound like a plesent situation or a safe place to be in.

Will he consider Therepy. Even if it means you have to say "yep the problem is me" and it not be true to get him to go. My H and I have been going to T for awhile now. Things are still not good but they are not what they used to be either. I think my H had no idea he was being this way and thought it was acceptable behavior. Only after being showed a different way of communication have things began to improve. It is still more crap then most would want to tolerate but my case like yours is tolerating verbal abuse and any improvement is well worth it.