I sit here on the couch, with my youngest snuggled up next to me.... And I wish that my Ex was a better mother.... I wish she was the mother she should be.... I love my children, and because of my love for them, I stay. I won't let them be raised by the craziness that is her family....

I never wanted children! I never wanted to bring them into my craziness! In my selfishness and my desire to be loved, I allowed myself to give the love of my life three sons.... Now, I can't leave.... I can't take "the easy way out".... I have to stay and care for them... I have to subject them to my craziness, because mine is slightly less than hers.... My God, what have I done! These poor children didn't deserve to hampered by my genetics.... They didn't ask for this. They didn't ask for my incompetent ***....