Hi WrongTurn, I can understand some of what you're feeling. I am depressed, angry and hurt too. I feel like I've missed out on so many wonderful things that life has to offer. I agree that, to miss out, hurts big time. How did you manage to "completely drop out of life"? I'm curious as that actually sounds good to me. Sometimes I'd like to just shut the world out and live holed up in my apartment with the computer, TV and phone as my companions. In fact, I've kinda done that already, but just for a few days or so. Then I have to get back to reality and go to work. As I get older, it seems to be harder and harder because I see the years pass and I'm still nowhere in this world. You ask some good questions and I wonder about them too. I'd hate to think that, where I am now in life is all there is. I hope that YOU and others here on PC will be able to get out and enjoy the things in life that I can't. It's not too late, Wrongturn, for you to turn things around. Do you have a therapist? You might want to consider it, they can be a big help.