"just really starting to trust him with some of the insiders".

Are you afraid that your therapist is going to want you to dissociate even more so that he/she can talk to you while you are a memory piece (alter)?

Therapy is working on things so that the person has MORE control over their life and experiences not less.

Therapy for DID is the same way. Its working on grounding techniques, and relazation techniques so that the person can remain grounded in the here and now while they remember the memories of what they have been through. Therapists don't work with DID clients to create more dissociation they work with them on gaining control of their dissociation. They work towards co consciousness (remaining aware while experiencing the separated pieces of memories that are the alters so that the person consciously while aware match up and put the pieces of memories together - this smell goes with this sound, with this touch and so on.

Since you have some control where when you didn't trust him didn't dissociate during therapy your therapist is not going to expect any more or less from you. if anything he is going to expect and want you to continue to have this amount of control of remaining aware while learning what your separated pices of memories are.

I can also tell you that years ago when I was first diagnosed with DID I dropped out of therapy and years later my not taking care of my problems associated with having DID resulted in my son being put in foster care. and Some of his PTSD problems are a result of my switching and the unpredictability. one minute I would be sliding down slides with him the next throwing books. Poor kid didn't know which end was up alot of the time. back when I was diagnosed I didn't have a child and had no immediate plans to have a child.

No one knows what the future will bring and alot of times its not what you would expect. You have an opportunity to work with a therapist now on learning what your separated pieces of memories are. only you can make the decision to stay in therapy but I can tell you I wake up everymorning regretting the decision to drop out of therapy and not take care of the problems back then before I had my child. if I had my life would have been so much better and my child though he would still have schizophrenia may not have had to spend the last 4 years and the next 4-5 years in residentail treatment facilities (mental health units and hospitals for children) and proctor homes (foster homes with therapy professionals as foster parents and group home parents.)

If knowing what I do today and I had the chance to do it all over again I would have remained in therapy with the people who diagnosed me with DID. and taken care of it then.

hang in there