Hi woods -

I started a few months before you did and it was one of the hardest things ever to stop when I did.

It is hard to make up for doing it and you probably will never forget having started but it is possible to stop the behaviour before it controls you. You are not screwed. It is a hard (and addictive) coping mechanism and people need those coping mechanisms to deal with stressors. Your choice of relief is not the worst - but it is not the best option either.

Some things that helped me were: finding someone to talk to about anything - SI, emotions, stress just anything that's on your mind - that you can express to that person without fear that they will ridicule you. It is not necessary for that person to be a professional (like a therapist) but it should be someone who knows that if things get too bad that they should call someone who has training/experience in that area.

Find yourself a hobby - something, anything that will keep you occupied so you're not really paying attention to the thoughts, or that you have no time to SI. If you can find something that you can do at almost any time during the day, even better.

(((woods))) please take care of yourself. PM me if you ever want to talk.

ps. sorry I sound so insensitive here - I'm not really but I feel strongly about this ... I apologize profusely if I make you uncomfortable or appear rude - I really don't intend to do that.