I don't like this feeling and I can't shake it. I feel like I am owed something by my abuser. He actually did say he was sorry once when I was young but that's not what I mean. I know he can't make it all better but it seems like he should be able to help or be made to help me.
It feels embarrassing to have this feeling and I don't want to say anything in therapy but by not saying anything it seems it just keeps hanging on and getting bigger. Some people think I should take him to court but that has a whole host of other issues around it.
I want a magic wand for the New Year to wipe this feeling he owes me away.