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Originally Posted by newtus
but now that i think about it summer is really huge for me because late may and early sept are the months my dad almost died.
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Wouldn't surprise me at all. My adopted son would fall apart every May. When I started looking back I realized he'd been removed from his mom in May 2000 and May 2002. Then he was separated from his sisters in foster care in June 2003. (I suspect it should have been May, but they held on until June to avoid moving him during the school year.) Then in May 2004 he disrupted an important foster care placement. And May 2005 he ended up in residential treatment. Kind of a theme.
I imagine that spring felt like 'time to have my world turned upside down' to him. Once I pointed it out, he brought some awareness to it and was able to get some control over it. It doesn't have to rule you once you see through it.
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im sorry i keep mentioning it but my dads the only person in my life that actually cares and hes older and theres more of a chance i think id lose him. im very scared everyday. every. single. day.
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Don't be sorry. He's important to you, and you're important to him. Just take it a day at a time.