Thank you so much Innerzone and Odee! Your comments are very helpful! And thank you for the complements Innerzone.
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I wondered if it was a self-esteem thing as opposed to depression per se. Is this a possibility? When one's self-esteem is very bad, it's not unusual to look for outside validation
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I would say that that's the last thing that would be the cause of my high sex drive...As a matter of fact if it wasn't for that WRETCHED SEX DRIVE I would be very very satisfied with myself.
I never ever thought of sex as a way of someone accepting me. As a matter of fact I never looked at sex as anything really truly good/nice/beautiful/positive at all
I swear I think I should have been born as an asexual, left only with that romantic side of emotions, and zero sexual urges.
Also I would kill you all if you found out who I am :P that's how embarrassed I am of talking about this in public!
Anyway, my sex drive is heavily visual most of the time. Its just too instinct based...for example if I see, lets say, a gifted girls' lower body (especially in some certain position) my adrenalin instantly sparks sooo high, it feels almost like a small electrocution inside my stomach! (sensation intensity is equivalent to a strong unexpected slap in the face).
Could it be that I'm hooked onto my own adrenalin??? You all have no clue how much willpower I need to fight these urges, I really give my best every day, it is a torture
I have never visited a psychologist/psychiatrist before, but I am convinced that there's a lot of wrong with me. Not sure if its all just a consequence of worrying over my high sex drive or are things a bit more complicated.