Hi im not new but haven't posted in so long.

I don't know if I have ADD for sure, but I do know : http://gettinbetter.com/ADD.html
...is the story of my life!

Anyways I wanted to ask others about something I notice I have been doing for years. Its this cycling if interests or hobbies. It starts with getting excited about a new idea/project/concept/thought/interest and then It literally consumes me (super research till 5am, i swear this is what i wanna do forever, super creative bursts and productivity, going the extra mile, hyper, a bit impulsive and/or getting all ready to dive into this new thing) till I burn out and lose interest. Only to move on to something else. Ex: photography, writing, gaming, writing music, photoshop, digital painting, starting a project/diet/idea on a weekly cycle each.

Then inbetween these cycles I feel kinda empty lost or just blehh. Like right now I feel like there is no point pursueing anything that interests me cuz i know I will just toss it in a few days.

Its been affecting my life. In university, im super attentive and a great student the first few weeks but then I cannit keep up and lose my spark. I find it very hard to finish assignments and projects and fail a lot. I used to get by with low grades but then I had a couple of years with panic attacks and depression and It got so bad I would get scared when given an assignment and the more I fret , the more I procrastinate. Im getting anxious rught now just remembering. Then I just would give up n not go to classes, drop subjects or not even go to the final exams. Yep that bad. I was ashamed of myself. I thought I was just an incredibly lazy or unbalanced person. I couldnt stand confronting teachers and colleagues so thats why i would stop attending.

But its mind boggling when I was doing so well at first...im usually the teachers pet. But then after a few weeks I just sort of lose it. I know it starts with assignments cuz I am terrible with deadlines. I dont lose focus in class that much but I do have problems focusing and finishing homework. I will pause every 5 mins or so and have to do soemthing else and then come back. Or i get over involved in my project that i. Convinced it has to be perfect and I have to look up a million things to get it right, before I even start. I get really blank minded staring at the screen or book.. And time flies by. If im having a good semester, i usually finish things albeit half ***, last minute. But I can't even manage that.

If i have ADD, its like it has caused me to have performance anxiety or something.

At the same time im so familiar with bipolar. I know what its like to be so gitty and excited aout something, esp the next new thing, and then completely turn 180 degrees. Usually its by a distraction though...

I also tend to hyperfocus. My mom always had trouble talking to me when I was doing soemthing, and I would get extremely agitated when interrupted. I always thought it was because I was an asshole...i didnt want to treat my mom that way.. It just happened. I get so involved in something im doing that I enjoy, like photoshopping for example or surfing the net like a crack addict. I have easily spent 10 hours at a time doing that one thing. Especially the internet. All those tabs o.o.

I get so consumed and have to look up every possible thing about my new thing...till i literally fall asleep while browsing the net on my iphone at 4-5am. Its like im in a marathon but i dont stop till i literally burn out.



Ok i got sidetracked...

Anyways I wanted ti know if anyone here has the same cycling thing going on? Is this an ADD thing or bipolar? I scored 61 in the ADD test and 42 in the Bipolar test here in the site. If that helps. I do plan on seeing a shrink soon, like tomorrow maybe before i forget or lost motive to...

Sorry im just extra fidgety rit now.gtg .