Thanks for your honesty Hellion. It saddens me to think that you have become so despondent that even your music cant lift you up but I can relate. I hope you know its not my intention to make you feel worse in any way. As I was thinking about this thread it occured to me that for some, this music, this entertainment genre, may be the only lifeline many are able to connect with in thier most isolated times and in that way it has a positive purpose by bringing hurt and suffering people into a place where they can connect with the feelings of being human. The feelings of loss and sadness validated when there are so few IRL willing to listen and take time to understand. I would feel like a monster to want to deprive anyone of that deeply needed connection so my purpose is not to ostracise. I have many emotional responses to your statement. Most of all I just want to reach out and tell you that I feel your vulnerability.That Im impressed with the bravery with which you are facing your conflict and dilemmas. I have always had a dificult time expressing my inner thoughts and I have hope that your ability to self explore will take you farther, quicker, than my own self analysis has.

Intellectually I am struggling with how to express my exact opinon of the influence 'dark' material may have upon someones psyche. My own psyche in particular, but others who are struggling and may not yet be aware of how important it is to moderate our intake. Once I was young and thought it a good idea to try everything once. Now I am not so sure. Those little 'parental guidance suggested' warnings mean more to me now than they did then. I suppose I would do nothing diferently if I had a do-over. How can I know a thing is harmful unless I try it myself? Maybe they are just trying to keep me from enjoying what they themselves are afraid to enjoy? How would I know a thing unless I had studied it and learned what its potential dangers and harms are? How can I just take somebody elses word for it?

Finally I am beginning to realize something many people learn early on. That the existance of something does not make it evil or bad. But it gives us a choice. We can make what we feel are the most healthy choices for ourselves (YAY Freedom!) and in that way prepare ourselves for the best things to happen to us instead of the worst. Years of stumbling and recycling my previous mistakes have taught me to filter my intake and question the true health value of of some consumables. I wish you the best in your journey, I hope this hasnt harmed you, you truly seem to me to be a gem amongst us.