Hi,

I read your post a little while ago and knew I wanted to respond, but I had to take some time to gather my thoughts.

First of all I want to say I am concerned. You sound so much like me and where I have been at different times in struggling with Bipolar Disorder. I think all of us know mixing alcohol and meds most of the time is not a good thing. But, other times when we are in a certain mindset or mood it is dangerous.

Alcohol is a disinhibitor, when we are maybe feeling down it can intensive this feeling. I am just going to talk from my own experience with this. I am not usually a drinker but when I get to feeling certain ways I crave wine and I indulge in it.

One glass becomes the whole bottle. Then I think some more Ativan will make me feel even better. My non drunk self would never do that. Things start to snowball, now I am extremely depressed and I take more Ativan and maybe some of my other meds. Next thing I know I am in the Hospital ER headed to the intensive care unit. It has taken me 20 years and many visits to the hospital to know I can't ever drink unless I really want to die.

My mom was Alcoholic. She also suffered from anxiety and depression. At the age of 49 she mixed her Valium and antidepressants with her daily alcohol.
She killed herself. Whether it was on purpose or not no one will ever know.

Please, Please be careful. Never under estimate this illness. In my view bipolar and alcohol don't mix!