I cannot say that I understand exactly what you are going through. I do know a bit about dysfunctional relationships with family. As well as holding some resentment towards them. I too have never seen a healthy relationship, for as long as I can remember, dysfunction and cruelty have always been a staple for relationships.

I kind of just choose to do the opposite of what I have seen. I know what makes a bad relationship, and while I may not know what makes a healthy one, I know that not doing the bad stuff is a good start.

I hold some resentment towards my family, especially my mother. I find it hard to talk to her, and she makes me very agitated just speaking to her. Sometimes I am very short with her. Sometimes I ignore her. I am actually a very kind person. But I just find it difficult to be friendly and kind to her due to the way she treated me my whole childhood. I can't help but feel this way... I suppose the only way to move on would be to try and forgive, or forget the past, but it isn't very easy, is it?