Its not unusual for people who are depressed or by themselves to have an aversion to the holidays. The holidays are traditionally times when families are together, so they become, as you say, reminders of the fact that you are still alone.

Finding that one person that you click with is not an easy thing. If it were, everyone would have someone. Once you do find the right person, all the time you spent waiting will be worth it. Not just on the holidays, but all the time. The important thing is not to jump at the first person who seems interested. If you wind up having a divorce, the holidays will seem even worse.

I don't think you are doomed to spend the rest of your life feeling like this. Admittedly, it is harder to find someone these days. Especially for women. There are a lot of dangerous people out there, so picking someone up in a bar is not as safe as perhaps it once was. You can always try one of the online dating systems. Sometimes people just find eachother in unlikely places as well.

Don't give up on yourself or the chance of finding that special person. When the time is right, you will find who you are looking for and you will start looking forward to the holidays.

Sam2