I have so much positive, great husband, good paying job, family, friends yet there is this need to grab the negative. I have suicidal thoughts and struggle with my work. I have huge fears about work, stupid stuff. These struggles have gone on for so long that I'm worn down from them!! Seems they never change and are always there. I dream of having an auto accident that gets me out of work or an airplane hitting my place of employment so I can get out of work. Next week I start working 3 days a week so maybe that'll help.

I don't understand why I struggle so much? Why does life have to b so difficult? It seems I can't get past my trivial struggles that drive me batty! I'm rambling so I'll shut up now!