I am really confused about whether I am in the right type of therapy. I see my T every 2-3 weeks, and she does "supportive" therapy, i.e. whatever is troubling me, or on my mind, we talk about. The issues change, as does lIfe. Lately it's been about practical steps I may need to take (lawyers etc) regarding my father, whose dementia and abusiveness has gotten much worse.

My T is good, but I don't seem to be making much progress at what I call my "automatic" reactions. My T thinks it doesn't matter if you have PTSD, that it's what you do now.

Problem is, I still have symptoms like hypervigilance, nightmares, insomnia, avoidance, etc. My father was so relentlessly abusive when I was age 10-17 I had no peace, just constant severe stress. I would even feel that I wasn't real, though I knew I was, just to escape the abuse. My sister said recently "he just hated you." That he did, and for a stupid reason - I gained about 15 pounds after one of our many geographical moves. Before that I was his golden girl. Talk about confusing.

I also became the scapegoat in my family... everything was my fault according to them all, even though I was quiet and didn't cause trouble. With two sisters, this continued into my 30's. They, however, married abusive men like my father - I didn't - and were/are alcoholics and street-drug users. My other siblings had grown up by then and weren't like that.

I don't want to be in therapy forever, yet as I said I'm confused whether I might need a PTSD specialist and/or group therapy.

Thank you if you read this far.