It looks like you can either choose to please your mother but face the real risk of failing, becoming ill, feeling miserable and throwing yourself into an emotional pit you may never climb out of or displeasing your mother but giving yourself time to heal and regain your strength and ultimately succeed, which of course would make your mother proud of you. I know I"m over simplifying the issues you're facing but sometimes that is the best way to prevent over-thinking a problem to the point where you become paralyzed with anguish and indecision.