Hi all,

This is my first post in the bipolar forum. I was diagnosed as BP II a few months back and spent time in hospital sui after having a massive breakdown. Now that I am slowly getting better I am able to reflect on things in my life that appear to have been either a part of hypomanic episodes or depressive episodes. And which cause me to constantly fluctuate between low and high esteem, never able to develop a strong sense of self.

Just wondering if any other BP sufferers have experienced sexual promiscuity during a manic/hypomanic episode that has resulted in a lot of regret? When I was in my late 20s I slept with a much much younger guy (19) which was a result of having a crazy night out where I went absolutely OTT and now I realise hypomanic. After his friends called me a pedophile and my friends laughed a lot at the episode, I started to feel really, really regretful, shameful and depressed. I wished I hadn't have done it and I still do. I still feel mortified by it. It's like I was another person. This kinda thing has happened since then too. And it's always with people who are completely inappropriate (very young, someone I don't even like, in a relationship etc). And these incidents still haunt me with shame and embarrassment. I try to recognise them now and not go there but in that state it's hard for me to stop myself from acting out. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance here that I'm not the only person who has done this :-(