god, I hate new year's and always have--it just reminds me how alone I am in the world and that I have been alone each and every year of my adult life, having no one to share it with. Even if I'm with people, I fill alone and like no one wants to know me. It's such a deep and painful emptiness and I hate feeling this way year after year. When I make efforts to participate in life and attend family get-togethers or do things with my nephew, instead of feeling happy, I feel sadness and pain...........will this ever change or am I doomed to feel this way the rest of my life?