I think there are probably plenty of people who can relate to what you have written. Since it's a holiday a lot of people are probably busy with stuff. You can post about this again and might find more respondents.

I wasn't suggesting you forgive your mother. I think it is off-putting to try to force someone to forgive when the person is still suffering. What I was trying to do was encourage you to move past the past.

If you want my opinion, you did the right thing putting distance between you and your mother.

I've known just a very few people I thought truly deserved the label narcissist and by that I mean the kind who are not only totally self-involved but actively and constantly unkind to others. I'd say they were scary folks if they weren't so pathetic. However they are undoubtedly scary to children who cannot escape them.

However you have escaped. I say now let her stew in her own bitter juices.

You might try now working on whatever problems you see for yourself, without worrying overmuch about what you think are the source of those problems. Someone who has trouble interacting with people could read How to win friends and influence people (a wonderful book, even though it was written a long time ago) and use the pointers in that book without dwelling or torturing themselves about how they came to be uncomfortable around people. This is just an example.

Courage! Every day is an opportunity to make it a good day.