Hi. I have a question and I think that this is the right place to ask it, if it isn't, could it be reposted in the right thread? Anyways, my older brother and I had extremely traumatic childhoods, and I healed from it (with therapy) but my brother seems to have coping issues. He is overall successful in his career, and was deemed very intelligent (prodigy) when he was a child.

However, he is also vindictive, manipulative, and calls me and our parents names. Normally he is a people person, and people usually adore him. But lately he has gotten worse and has taken to insulting me in public to create scenes in restaurants and grocery stores. he has even started insulting strangers: "Look at that thick *****". He has gotten worse towards our parents: "Why are you wearing that? go put on something different!". He tries to control me: "If I tell you to have a drink (alcohol), then you will". And he even took our mom's car and sped it to 85MPH just to terrify us. On his fiance's birthday, he gave her a weight scale (she's skinny).

I feel that the name calling is detrimental to my well-being and I have confronted him about it. When I try to avoid vacations/family events with him he makes me feel guilty: "You know, sometimes I feel like you just don't care about me". We have told him to get therapy, but he declines. He says he is "perfect".

How do I avoid vacations and manipulative conversations while still being there for him? How do I speak to him without allowing him to take control of the conversation? And does anyone have any idea what's wrong with him?