((DLWest))

I *think* that the core issue is that you are hiding how you feel. I have a major tendency to do the same thing as well. By not being honest with myself, and sharing my true feelings with those close to me, I cause myself more suffering. That's because there's an invisible wall up inside of me. I think that people pick up on this barrier that we hold inside of ourselves, and they hold themselves back around us in response.

Know what I mean? Just my opinion...I hope that you find some support and comfort very soon. Best wishes to you!