I understand where you are coming from. You say that everything you have built over the past decade has gone, so I gather something has happened ... besides the growing old and grey ... and now apparently losing your job which you enjoyed and gave you satisfaction. It is no wonder you are feeling low and unmotivated and in pain. I don't know of any words I can give that will take these feelings away, apart from giving you a long hug and saying that all things pass, though it never feels like it at the time. I understand that the pain of all this loss can be awful. Can you just allow yourself time to grieve and not think about what you are going to do next, for a while? You might find the strength to move on later, after, once this initial wave of sadness passes. Just hold on, just a bit longer. Tomorrow might be a better day.