There's nothing to forgive. I never consider your post as whining!
It takes guts to put your personal life & life experiences out there.
Thanks for feeling comfortable enough to share.

You are stronger than you think. You CAN buck him or tell him to leave.
He is an unexceptable spouse to you. Stand up for yourself & if he pouts (like a child) so be it.
Let your kids learn that his treatment of you isn't normal or healthy in marriage.

Take care of YOU.