First of all, let me really congratulate you for doing all the things you did, even knowing you were going to be alone and seeing all the couples and families wherever you went. It would have been easy for you to just go home and hide. Great idea to take a bike ride

I understand your ambivalent attitude towards doing stuff.... if you stay home, you miss out... if you go out, then you face danger. Probably best to stay home and feel safe than to go out on your own and feel scared.

Perhaps next year if you remember, you might sound out some workmates family or friends and arrange a little party at home or at someone else's place. That way you get to share NYE with someone else yet not have to go out among drunks and potential accidents.

Remember that half those people you see in groups might just be longing for a quiet night home by themselves and jealous of you