Hello, I'm very new to this forum. I'm Bailey. Young and live in the US.

I have major trust issues and lack self-confidence. I've been in a relationship for about 1 and 1/2 years, just after being in a scarring relationship. I was emotionally abused and sexually assaulted for a year, almost physically abused as well. That has made an impact on my current relationship if you couldn't have guessed.

Prior to that, while growing up I always had a feeling that I was being deceived by my father. 1. He was never home, so no father figure. 2. I felt that he was cheating on my mother. He was for 8 years before they finally divorced. 8 out of 20 years. Ouch. I knew I was right. So I guess I was brought up to never trust anyone, even family. I'm torn because I also dislike my mother. Let's just sum it up as I'm her emotional punching bag. So when I feel like I have to choose sides (as a natural reaction to the situation) I look at my dad as being the hero who can get me out of this hell-house, yet I don't trust the man. Do I stay with this permanently damaged soul, known as my mother?

This also affects me. All this emotion is whirled up in my mind all day, along with the current relationship I'm in. Every little this is construed. Every little thing matters. I'm just a big ball of emotion. I know the problem, I just don't know how to solve it. :/

Thank you for your time.