but see, things were never good.they were a bit better, but not good.

grew up with daily abuse. moved out and developed anorexia. two years. always broke. constantly suicidal. driving around at night trying to muster up the strength to hit a tree. considered taking home the big can of horse tranqjuilizer from work. started cutting. got married and moved across the world. now severely suicidal because i lost my independence. mor cutting, first suicide attempt. the first of many.spent the next years trying to get my life back. many many hospitalizations. almost divorce. twice. prozac made me double my weight in three months. useless pdoc didn't care.

since then, a neverending cycle of depression, suicide attempts, cutting, feeling better, getting knocked back down, never having any money, bad things happening all the time,......

things were never good. my life has never been truly enhoyable.