Blue,

I know you have gone through hell and making the decision about your son has to be one of the toughest decisions a parent has to make. You have done everything possible to get him away from drugs. He has to want to change his life at this point. Talk to your daughter once you have taken a bit of time to focus on you.

It's good that you know your thought process isn't healthy but, you are at a point mentally that could tip you over the edge. Please Please be safe! Reach out to anyone and everyone you can for support.

Self care is needed right now, in large doses.