I'm sure you were looking for much more than this broken record but telling someone impartial about all your feelings like a doctor or Councillor really will help you (not that telling someone else WON'T help, but for me I found I couldn't say anything if I felt I was at risk of judgement).

What I would suggest is when you identify aspects of your life that you want to actively change, write it down for now. Build up a document of everything that you feel has gone wrong for you, come back to it whenever you want, chances are when you read it back you will realize that you shouldn't feel shy about it and there are rational reasons to why you feel the way you do and rational ways of dealing with it rather than locking everyone out.

Trust me - the feeling that nobody understands you is familiar among so many of us and it can seem unsolvable if you are to let things get out of perspective but there are more people than you can fathom willing to at least try to understand and help you.

Best of luck and please keep us updated on how things progress.