Well I can't sleep tonight. My mind is racing with so many thoughts for everything I have to do tomorrow. I feel like my brain is just shouting at me with everything and I can't focus on one thing. I'm worried I am going to let people down by not accomplishing everything. It's scary.

I can't be in the dark because I keep freaking out that someone is going to get into my room even though it is on the second floor. I feel like someone is watching me from my window or my skylight (even though the only thing surrounding my house is woods and our sweet old neighbors). I keep getting this weird sense that someone is behind me looking over my shoulder even though I am sitting with my back resting on the wall. I have to look up every 10-15 seconds and look around the room. There is a presence here.

I think it just weirds me out because I have lived in this house for a little over a year. The old lady that lived here in this house before us was Miss America 1957. She lived here after retirement with her husband. Apparently she was widowed and then became sick a few years later. She died in her sleep in this house and (of course) my bedroom is on the second floor above the room she spent her last days/died in.

I have been a very large believer in ghosts ever since I was little (I used to live close to Camarillo Mental Hospital (Hotel California) and my grandparents live on a farm that has been in our family for 150 years and dates back to underground railroad times (we even have multiple cemeteries of pets, family members, servants and unknown people on the property within a 5 min walk of the house)). I have experienced the inexplicable and therefore believe strongly in the idea that ghosts walk the same world as we do because I have seen/felt them with us. I live in a very historic (I'm talking revolutionary war and founding fathers) part of Pennsylvania so my friends and I have all seen weird things (not all bad) in houses.

Sometimes I feel a strange pull into the sitting room that is just off of my bedroom. I feel like someone is sitting in there, watching, listening and waiting for me to acknowledge them. I don't feel dread all of the time, it almost feels as if my grandmother is sitting there waiting for me (both of mine are alive and kicking though). I guess I am just fearing the unknown.
I can't decide if my anxiety is acting up or if something is actually going on.

Does anyone else here believe in ghosts? If so, do you get scared by them or ignore them? Is there any way to stop this feeling of uneasiness?

Oh, how I miss the days when I was little and did not fear these things.

On another note:

My mother has seemed to forget about me asking for treatment again. She hasn't brought it up, but (bless her heart) she has had a problems with her back that have to do with her arthritis in her spine and cannot get out of bed on some days. I just want to get better so I can become the daughter she dreamed of instead of the screw up child I am now.