My New Year started with such a bang.

I was able to let go of my crush, Anatoli.

I did not hold myself responsible for my former-bf's sucide death.

I stood up to my roommate after he picked a fight with me right after my vacation.

I still interacted with ppl all day even though I was freaking out in my head with the old tapes that told me I was worthless.

I am reading Siddhartha again. If anyone knows who that is, he's a fictitious man who struggled to find himself.

Anatoli Boukreev was a role model I desired, but now I am moving towards role models that are more on my level. Siddhartha did not climb mountains, but he did struggle with his purpose as I am doing now.

I feel like I am becoming a big hole where the old Billi used to be (was billi_leli) and I hope something fills it.

My roommate says we have money still to live here. I reminded him to call someone about a job today.

This year is better.

I still have bpd and I hope it's more under control.

My new pdoc says he recognizes I am fighting it with everything I have.

I hate bpd.

Carol (billi)