Where to begin...I guess i'll make this short but understanding.

--Lived with my mom for 9 years of my life, got sent away to live with my dad for the rest of my life at the age of 10.

--Moved in with brother and father

--Dad was never really there for me, brother raised me and primarily took care of me.

--didn't pass highschool

--Meet gf that I continue to date for 4 years.

--Hit age 22, brother passes away from accidental overdose Whole world torn apart.

--Dad and I are forced to come together

--Havent seen mom or two other brothers since I was young, and now I have to meet them at brothers funeral.

--FAST FORWARD

--GF dumps me, was very close to my brother that passed.

--have trouble coping with reality.

--Dad and I almost become homeless but luckily we catch a break by his friend for years allowing him to live at his house. And my friend allowing me to live at her house with her family.

--Every girl i meet ends up going no where.

--Pick up dead end at a hotel.

--fully dedicated and going back to school

--Im now 25

--Meets new friends, I go out and party with them...can't socialize for crap. (not even on dating sites)

--Lose car, cant save money cause of partying. Can't save for new car.

--Dad's been helping me out by taking me to work in effort to not lose job.

--Best friend i've known since highschool starts to hangout with me again.

--We have everyting in common almost down to the tee.

--We end up becoming intimate. She tells me all she see's me as is a really close friend. Admits it was a huge mistake..shouldn't do it anymore.

(she has a huge back story on the guy shes with now)

--completely feel lost, can't socialize, I don't feel 'good looking'.

I never show ANY type of evidence of these occurrences to anyone....but since the new years hit. Something dawned on me that I just seriously need to get away from everything.. again..sorry if too long.