http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memento_mori

It is not unusual to think about death. Most people don't do it enough. It really puts things in perspective. On the other hand, it does tend to be uncomfortable especially when it gets to take on a life of its own and you can't stop anymore. This isn't a bad thing. It also sounds like you have representations of a lot of people running around in your head (family and friends, teachers, the usual collection). My guess is that they have given you a lot of your beliefs and values and they have gone in unexamined. What you are doing with imagining the funerals and so on is processing this material. It helps to write it out on paper, where you can look at it and see it objectively. Not for anyone to read, unless you really want to share it with a T or someone like that. It is better if you just keep starting over instead of re-reading what you have already written. It gets clearer as you go through different versions. You have it set up already. They are talking in the context of being at your funeral. That works really well. You can write it down and keep starting over with different variations until you process it through. It will stop feeling as stuck this way because you will have it on paper where you can look at it from an outside perspective. It is really about life and experiencing it more deeply.