I can go as far as I let myself... ha!
it's kinda like a choice for me...
to keep it at bay and ignore and distance myself from it...
it works...

but if I look it in the eye...
then watch out... it will win every time and there is no bottom to hit anymore... no limits to how far I can fall...

but i don't have to look it in the eye...
but I get a glimpse sometimes...
out of morbid curiousity....

any one else relate to this?