be there forever??????? Hmmmmmmm, 1st, is that bad? I look forward to my 1/2 hour of undevided attention by a compassonate woman who frequently has ideas that help me learn to cope better.

2) I hear a hint of "I wont's start crying, casue if I ever do, it'll never stop" which my Mom, among others swear by. (She also will never have another pet because when our little beagle got sick and had to be put down it about killed her 40 years ago).

She hardly ever lets anything out. Its' the pressure of keeping the "its" in makes them feel so huge. If she actually did let herself feel and grieve, she would find herself over this "worst of it", but, nope, she is afraid to face "it" because she doesn't feel like she could ever get through it. It's a quagmire.

In my recovery, I have learned the more I let myself go through life as it happens, the better I am at it. Be here now, feel when I feel, cry when I need to cry, sleep when I need to sleep, etc, thing that were not allowed when I was little. Time now to tune into yourself.

I have found a survivors group to be a very safe place to start saying words out loud. Peers, there is nothing like a peer who "gets it" to bubble up a sigh of relief from the old battered heart...... ))))))) ))legsie (( ( (( (((