oh yes I think its definitely related to mom and to women in general. I have always felt the need of the approval of women...I think all i ever wanted was the approval of my mother. But I don't really remember NOT having her approval. Is there such a thing as me just being a loser and blaming on mom?
I mean, don't get me wrong, I am a handsome guy (so I have been told) and I work hard.
But I wish I had been smart enough to have gone to school for a professional degree (like a doctor, lawyer, architect, engineer) instead of a lousy business degree. I work for a large telecommunications company, my job function is important, but "I" am not important.
And If I was important, then people want things from you.
I can't win. It's like I am 47 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
How completely pathetic is THAT?
I will make it a point to try and identify where all my self esteem went...i am certain I lost it in my childhood/adolescence.
I spend to much time with woulda/shoulda/coulda and do my best to remind myself that Dave Thomas was reportedly 55 when he started Wendys Hamburgers.
So I CAN do it, if I can just figure out HOW to do it!