Aw brilliant Moira about the job! Well done you and I'm so glad for you
. Hey it sounds like you really do know and understand your own internal set up and are determined to deal with it - you must be feeling a bit proud of yourself for what you've achieved? I would if I were you
.
Quote:
|
My brain says if I explain something part-way someone might misunderstand me and get upset at me, so I have to keep explaining
|
Snap! I find myself getting really pedantic and saying the same thing five times but with subtle word variations. Then I read other people's posts and think, how come I can't manage short and to the point????? Comes of always being misunderstood so I now go overboard trying to make sure I'm REALLY CLEAR in what I'm trying to convey. LOL.
I'm posting less than I normally would dunno why really. Maybe the need to withdraw a bit, more like yeah I do feel obligated to respond to every thread I read (which is impossible!) and feel really bad if I don't reply and usually that's ok because I want to talk to people, want to be supportive and have that people contact, but sometimes when things go a bit haywire in my brain (like now) it all feels like too much and I suffer big guilt trips about it. It's not quite as simple as 'learning to say no' but along those lines. Maybe. Wouldn't be so bad if the motives were truly altruistic but there's a lot of self interest involved, so the guilt really has a field day
.
I.Am.The.End it sounds like going home is not a good idea
. Do you really think you'll end up doing that? I hope not for your sake. If you have this much success as a musician and have such ambition as you describe, I can't help but think that your dating issues are less to do with your avoidant fears and more to do with your gender doubts/fears (that's what it sounds like anyway.) It must be frightening to think that because of your orientation your career is under threat. I hope you can find a way of resolving that dilemma soon.
As for me, don't know what's wrong with my head recently but I'm feeling very alienated and alone and cut off from the world. I'd like to withdraw but cutting off from people scares me even more than being around them, what a hellish no win situation
