I can totally identify with the self-hatred and social incompetence. Wish I could make everybody's pain away. I care when you are hurting, partially because I know that type of pain too well myself. I will pray for you.
You are a good writer and you express yourself well. I appreciate that about you.
I also appreciate the courage it takes to share this pain with us. It is an honor tha you trust us with this side of yourself. Thank you.

I hope that one day soon we will find a way to make the pain stop or at least stopp interfering with our own life so much that we not have a life.

A life worth living.... isn't that the promise of DBT? Maybe one year we will get there.
It is possible. Right?